What Is Love?

Josh Bell
Written By Jeff Rybacki
 
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
— 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)

As I write this, I confess that I have been struggling lately - struggling with the unrest we see in this country, struggling with the COVID “pandemic” and how it is politicized to meet an agenda, struggling with the busyness of life, and several other behind the scenes issues. Now I say all of this as a preface to the topic of love, because in the midst of my struggles, while seeking to faithfully trust in the Lord as I navigate through those struggles, the topic of biblical love continuously arose in my thoughts, my prayers, and in my Scripture readings. It became apparent to me in my attitude and actions that love was absent in my state of self-pity. This caused me to ponder my own understanding and application of Christ-like love and revealed my shortcomings in living out the call to love as scripture commands me to.   

The pinnacle of my conviction to evaluate biblical love was established when I read 1 Corinthians 13. This passage is probably the most famous, one of the most detailed on giving instructions on biblical love. Unfortunately, though this is a passage I have read many times, I never really took the time to meditate on it and wrestle with the principles it taught. This time while reading, the one phrase that really hit me was in verse 5. Before I elaborate as a disclaimer, I really like the NASB translation and so as I work through this, I will be pulling phrases from both the ESV and NASB. Each are labeled accordingly.  

So, in verse 5 (NASB) Paul writes that love “is not provoked.” What struck me there was the idea of being easily provoked. I realized in that moment that as I have been struggling, mostly with things that were essentially out of my control, I am easily “provoked.” Or as the ESV writes easily “irritable or resentful.” So, then I thought, if I or anyone for that matter is easily provoked, irritable, or resentful, how can we be filled with genuine love? In that moment as I was reading this passage, I recognized that I have not been authentically exhibiting the love of Christ in my own life, and where is that the most prevalent is in the home, at least for me. I always jokingly say “we are meanest to those we love the most.” That statement is a blatant oxymoron and yet there is truth to it and despite how true it is I can’t help but ask the question “If I truly do love that person (say my wife for example) why do I occasionally or regularly treat them in a negative way? If we are all honest with ourselves, we will admit that our closest loved ones are the easiest with whom we express our frustration and discontent. We may find that if life is presenting unbearable situations or we are experiencing seasons of trial, not only do we treat our closest loved ones poorly, but we may begin expanding our hair-triggered irritability and frustration to anyone outside of our circle of family and friends.  

But if we look at the passage in 1 Corinthians 13, what do we find? What is love: Love is patient, love is kind. What love is not: “love does not envy” (ESV) or “is not jealous” (NASB), love does not “boast” (ESV) or “brag” (NASB) and “is not arrogant.” Love is not “rude” (ESV) or “does not act unbecomingly” (NASB) and here is what I believe is at the heart of all these traits, love “does not insist on its own way” (ESV) or “does not seek its own.” Selfish and sinful desires are the root of what love is not. And as I spoke of earlier “love is not irritable or resentful” (ESV) or “is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered.” Love “does not rejoice in wrongdoing” (ESV) or “does not rejoice in unrighteousness” (NASB).

What love does: love “rejoices with the truth,” love is devoted to what is true in everything and rejoices when truth prevails in a person’s life. Love “bears all things.” To bear is to cover with silence, to be publicly silent about a person’s faults, to not gossip, slander, or create division. Love “believes all things.” To believe is to express a steadfast confidence and trust in others, especially in the person and work of Christ. Love “hopes all things.” To hope is to confidently expect future victory in another’s life, despite their present faults, hope in salvation. Finally, love “endures all things.” Love endures the relentless assault of Satan and his forces to break up relationships, sow doubt, fear, lies, hatred, animosity, or anything that disrupts our fellowship with God and one another. 

To simplify what love does, love rejoices in the truth God rejoices in, love bears what God bears, love believes what God desires for us to believe, love hopes for what God desires for us to hope for, and love endures all that this world can throw at us. Paul’s instruction on love is a perfect reflection of our God and so we must ask ourselves, do we truly love God? If so, do we love like God? Do we love others like Christ loved us when he faithfully endured the wrath of God on the cross? When we read in the New Testament about the example Christ gave for us while here on this earth, do we imitate His character in how we speak to others, how we respond to others, how we treat others? Are we so concerned about ourselves, our struggles, our situation(s), our pursuits that we cannot even recognize that our response, our actions, and/or our speech most likely do not represent a Christ-like love for others? Do we possess the 1 Corinthian 13 “love does not” negative aspects more often than the “love is” or “love does” aspects?  

It is so easy in today’s world to become blindly wrapped up in the busyness of life, the tasks, the responsibilities, the hobbies, the addictions, the desires of the heart, etc., that we fail to see our inability to truly love others like we are called to in Scripture. We live in a self-absorbed society where we are relentlessly fed this philosophy that life’s all about us and we must do what makes us happy. We even see it infiltrating “Christian” churches today. Unfortunately, that very mindset is what is destroying this world. True joy and happiness are found in sacrificially loving and serving others, not when it is convenient or when it fits our schedule, or when it benefits us in some way. Sometimes love means dropping everything we are doing to help others in need. Love means sacrificing the things we want to do to meet the needs of others. Love means we may have to patiently put up with or tolerate a plethora of things we do not like about other people so we can put a significant effort into investing in their lives. Love means not holding grudges or building up a case against others. Love means to forgive others so we can break down the barriers that prevent genuine relationships. The list goes on. 

My hope, my prayer, and my challenge to myself and to all of you is that after reading this you take considerable time to reflect on the truths of 1 Corinthians 13. Ask yourselves What is Love? What is true biblical, Christ-centered love? And in that reflection may there be a genuine conviction that is applicable and, in that conviction, may there be heartfelt confession, repentance, and an established or renewed commitment to walk in obedience to the call of biblical love, not love as the world wants us to believe, but a love rooted in the calling of Christ in the pursuit of His character for the sake of others. Just think of what God can do when we all start walking in love exactly as He designed!

Prayer

Lord, we thank you that in Christ you gave us the perfect example of love. May we recognize and repent of our failure to properly love those around us and by Your Spirit may You enable us to display the love of Christ in all aspects of our lives, especially when we are in situations or seasons where love may naturally be an afterthought. Amen!

 
Jeff Rybacki
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